etrexler.com
Jimmy Kimmel


         Unless you've been living under a rock you know "Star Wars" comes out everywhere on Friday, although they've been running a big ad campaign under rocks so even those people who live under them know about it.

They're predicting the film could gross more than $2 billion. The United States just promised $800 million as part of the Paris agreement to fight climate change, which means we're spending more than twice as much to see "Star Wars" as we are to save the actual world.

They're saying it could be the biggest and worst-smelling Hollywood premiere of all time. Imagine 300 "Star Wars" fans who haven't bathed in days crammed into a windowless theater. This is why Darth Vader breathes through a filter.

Between Black Friday and "Star Wars" we could set the record for most Americans to sleep on the sidewalk over a three-week period ever this year.














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This page was last updated on: December 15, 2015